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When you realize none of these worlds are for you.

I should really stop playing around with people because when someone actually likes you but you’re just dicking around it actually fucks a person up okay omg I hate myself right now always obsessing fuck fuck why are you in fucking London why didn’t I fucking stay with you when you asked me to & why do I keep fucking this shit up because guess what we are fucking perfect together like fuck you atlantic ocean just fuck you. Time moves too slowly for me.

Anti-Love Poem by Grace Paley

Sometimes you don’t want to love the person you love

you turn your face away from that face

whose eyes lips might make you give up anger

forget insult     steal sadness of not wanting

to love     turn away then turn away     at breakfast

in the evening     don’t lift your eyes from the paper

to see that face in all its seriousness     a

sweetness of concentration     he holds his book

in his hand     the hard-knuckled winter wood-

scarred fingers     turn away     that’s all you can

do     old as you are to save yourself     from love

I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.

Sometimes I wonder if I will ever actually mean it when I kiss someone.

Skirts, High-heeled shoes, Diverse prostheses of the lace-up family, Diverse loads, The smile.

星になりたい、星になれた。

So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor.

釋放。

It’s the waiting. That slightly off-center feeling when you’re just waiting for your lens to shift into focus. Within that lapse it’s almost as if nothing is real, just a blur waiting & waiting to come into shape. I’m always waiting. Waiting so much my body doesn’t know what it means to start anymore.